Understudy

Thoughts, Prayers and Words of Encouragement: Years ago in high school I was in a drama group. I loved it, we did touring theatre in elementary schools. Using familiar stories we would use music and actions to make them more real to the students. As our group grew, it was important that each main character had an understudy. In the event the lead person could not be in the drama, the understudy immediately took the role. They had to know every movement, every line, every part of the character's actions, and thoughts to represent the main actor.

Well this week my discipline has been study. So at first I was thinking, wow Lord, I am traveling this week, so much to do, I don't think I have time to sit and study with dictionaries, commentaries etc. Then that wonderful still quiet voice said, this study is of ME. You will be my understudy, watch me, intently begin to know all of my character, how I am....then begin to live as my understudy.

I have realized the importance of being the understudy and not a stand in....a stand in, has a minor role, just makes a quick appearance then they are done. An understudy learns EVERYTHING....and is able to fill the role at any time, any place with complete confidence that they have studied and are approved to take the role. WOW what a week. As I have looked at creation, devastation, broken hearts, and those filled with hope I realize this disicpline will take years!

His ways are not mine, His thoughts are not mine, and I have been a stand in for years....but now a deeper calling. A time to truly be Jesus with skin on, to have His heart, feel His pain, reach out with His love and be all about the Kingdom! Lord you are the greatest, biggest, most amazing and incredible dramatic person ever living.....so I surrender the stand in role...I desire to be Your understudy, teach me your ways O God and draw me closer to You that I may see every move and intent of Your heart, no matter how small, that I will learn and BE.....

Cycle of Love

This AM as I prepare to leave for Cameron Parish Louisiana I have "Flashbacks". Although it has only been three years, somedays it seems like forever, today like yesterday that Bonnie and I began our service to God in Bay St. Louis, MS. Helping to set up distribution on the ballfield, beginning the process of LOVE.

Mary Kay has a crystallite from a Monarch butterfly on her porch. Bay St Louis is on the migratory path for these beautiful butterflies. The crystallite is a beautiful shade of green and safely inside the transformation is happening. Out of the site of others. The similarities with the cycle of love. The transformation of God in our hearts is rarely evident to others, they see the butterfly floating gracefully in the wind, what cares could it have? Yet, it spent the time needed to be changed.

So it is here in Bay St Louis. During the past three years, we have been tucked away as a community and God has been working and changing hearts and lives. The evidence today as a truck filled with what could be considered the widow's mite, leaves for Cameron Louisiana. People have given from their own plate to feed others, so many want to go and give what they received. Not material, but the love..."It was the hugs, tears, and laughter that helped me make it through, I know how important that is for others now."

As I ponder all the models of ministry.....it all seems to come back to Jesus saying...Love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself. Why I ponder do I fall pray to complicate that commandment? It is God's incredible extravagant love that has changed my life, given me wings to fly and a journey to take. Yet, I still find myself challenged to say LOVE IS ENOUGH. I exist only to LOVE and fulfill His commands. SO SIMPLE.....His love is never changing, always forgiving and free flowing.

Today Lord let me love you and share your incredible expansive love with a people brokenhearted and in pain ...that Your great love would cast out fears and Your peace would be a gift they would open today. And for me life let me again be reminded....LOVE IS ALWAYS ENOUGH!

Meditations of my heart

The week has been overshadowed again by a hurricane, this time hurricane Wall Street. This kind of storm is large covering the 3000 miles of America and is far reaching over the entire globe. The fear, rumors, and drama are all part of the movement of the storm. Add to that the feeder bands of a roller coaster DOW, banks and mortgage companies acting like escalators and the general public feeling confused and disoriented. YEP...the makings of a bad category 4 storm.

As I pondered the meaning of meditation, I have realized that for me: it is the pondering of the holy, in the presence of His holiness to present holiness to ordinary life. If that is truly to be accomplished, then the meditations of my heart must include what is pure and holy....HIM. Easy to say that I will meditate on Him, or His word or His character, but as I am waiting for the quiet, I miss the moment of meditation.

I think that the process of meditation, although significant time needs to be spend in the ponder and quiet....there is a fragment of my daily life and breath that needs to be His presence...ALL day long, every situation, every reaction ...MY EVERYTHING!! Oh that it would be pleasing to Him. That within every part of my being is the place of pleasure for Him, focused on Him, inquiring of Him. From that place of His presence the world would then see His character, love and be drawn to Him personally.

So today Lord, I desire to keep you in the forefront of my existence. So when the storms blow, whether they natural or man made, that all my thoughts, actions, deeds and desires would be in Your will. That you will direct and keep me and that all men would know that You alone are God. Not only would I trust you, but that Your holiness and truth would be living water to all You cross in my path.

Light Load

"It is the mystery that the heart, which is the center of our being, is transfomed by God into His own heart, a heart large enough to embrace the entire universe. Through prayer we can carry in our heart all human pain and sorrow, all conflicts and agonies, all torture and war, all hunger, loneliness and misery, not because of some great psychological or emotional capacity, but because God's heart has become one with ours. Here we catch sight of the meaning of Jesus words, Shoulder my yoke and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Yes my Yoke is easy and my burden light. Matthew 11:29-30. Jesus invites us to accept His burden, which the burden of the wohole world, a burden that includes human suffering in all times and places. BUT THIS DIVINE BURDEN IS LIGHT, AND WE CAN CARRY IT WHEN OUR HEART HAS BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO THE GENTLE AND HUMBLE HEART OF OUR LORD." Henri Nouwen

Today I reflect back on the roller coaster ride of the past couple weeks. How wonderful it would be to turn on my computer and not hear the crash of a weather alert! Seems simple but a daily reminder that this time of the year brings suffering. As the reports come out of Galveston and Houston the sufferings, pain and sorrow of humanity is the burden to CARRY WITH HIM.

Many times in my life I can see where I have been SO BURDENED....and yet today I see again, His yoke is easy and light....the only way that is possible is when my heart has become truly and totally HIS. Surrendering my heart fresh and new when the burdens come will be the discipline of my growth in intercession. Often I want to fix it, carry something, or most times DO something.... yet again I am reminded that if WE, He and I carry it together it will be light.

As I look at the picture of the people enjoying the art class sponsored by a grant to St Rose, you will see a Light Load....however, some have no home, some have buried their children, others face serious terminal illness.....and yet what a picture to remind me HIS yoke is easy and burden is light.

Today as I walk among a people who have carried heavy burdens and are reminded of them as they watch the TV reports from Ike, may I encourage their hearts to expand, to mold and surrender to be a Bigger God heart so that we can ALL walk with Lighter Loads.

Come on in.....

"If I could have a gentle "Interiority"- a heart of flesh and not of stone, a room with some spots on which one might walk barefooted-then God and my fellow humans could meet each other there. Then the center of my heart can become the place where God can hear the prayer for my neighbors and embrace them with His love." Henri Nouwen

Truly a look at intercession from within. How comfortable is the interior of my heart? Is it a place where the weary can come and find rest for their soul? Is it a place filled with Joy that will be strength for those in need? Is it a place where Jesus can sit down and relax from His day, a place where we can talk about our friends, and share what they need, where I am in agreement with Him?

WOW this will be a long week or two as this heart of mine becomes the legal and desired dwelling place of God, and from this place we will share and invite others to come and experience His great love, mercy and peace. So often I have lots of excuses why we should meet at some other house, really Lord let's just go to your place, you don't have to clean up for company....

Never thought of my heart as the gathering place....how unique, what a privilege and what a great way to change my prayer life. love ya Jesus

Shared Agony

I woke this AM, with a call from my dear friend Kathy. We talked about everything and more :0 ) Times with Kathy are like that, she has the wonderful ability to draw out of my heart the things I need to verbally process, then help me to see them. She asked me how I was doing, and I burst into tears.....this is such a hard season. The pain, fear and anxiety of these people I now call my own, breaking my heart as I listen to their stories, hold and cherish tears, and provide a place in my arms for them to rest.....and at the end of the day....I am tired. Sometimes the tears come, healing and refreshing to release the pent up emotion of the day.

Yet the other side of this journey, is the incredible unbelievable reality that God in His infinite wisdom has given me an opportunity to walk with Him among these people at this time. I tremble with awe that He would open the door for me to walk with Him....and until today, not understanding the awe and agony that are walking hand in hand in my heart. Then Kathy shared these verses: Matthew 26:38-40 "Then He said to them. "My soul is sorrowful even to death. Remain here and keep watch with me." He advanced a little and fell prostrate in prayer, saying "My Father, if it is possible let this cup pass from me, yet not as I will, but as you will">

The last two weeks my discipline has been petition.....and I have been learning again to a deeper level the "thine will not mine"....Today, Kathy shared with me, the place of sharing the agony of Gethsemane, His soul is sorrowful, even to death, keep watch with me....that is what this season is....HE is sorrowful about all the pain and agony the people are suffering.....My choice to remain with HIM, KEEP watch WITH HIM.....not turn my head from the pain and suffering of others, but to remain with HIM....I can't articulate the deepest truth of my soul this night....this I know

I WANT TO STAY AWAKE....STAY WITH HIM....WATCH WITH HIM....AND BE WITH HIM AS HE BRINGS HIS LOVE AND COMFORT TO HIS PEOPLE... O my dear sweet Jesus, give me grace, courage and strength.

Weapons of Warfare

Today I am reminded that the weapons of warfare are not of this world 2 Corinthians 10:3. As we clean up from Gustav and Ike is making noise and threats, I find so many people anxious, fearful and full of worry. People calling today crying, "I can't take this anymore, if I do not have my sleeping pill I can't sleep, my mind is racing all the time."

This is the enemy of our soul trying to distract us from the true purpose of God. Jesus Christ promised us His Peace....it is a gift...He said MY PEACE I GIVE TO YOU.....well today I think that the warfare we are against is the destruction of our ability to live in the midst of storms and trials in HIS PEACE. It is a gift we need to open and receive. Often I find myself pondering the circumstance, creating drama in my mind from the storm and failing to unwrap the perfect PEACE of Christ.

A friend recently gave me a T shirt with what I believe will become my life motto...

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain"

I choose today to use the weapons NOT of this world...Peace, Love, Joy, and may these weapons bring strength to my beloved friends and family here on the Gulf Coast of Mississippi.

Start the praising let's start dancing....Love you Jesus

Misty WIndows

Today as I was leaving the apartment for the SOAR office, the windows in the door were covered with salt spray from Gustav's knocking over the weekend. I began to ponder how similar the mist effect is in my own life.

When I go through a challenge or trial, the wind blows, trees fall and when the storm is over I tend to look through the misted windows of the experience. I realize today, if I do not clean off the debris from the last experience, seek healing for the pain, forgive and be forgiven then I will always have a distorted view of what is coming.

The biggest lesson learned is that the mist occludes the goodness of God. His goodness in all situations and His love are His fingerprints. Often I am able to reflect that when the trial or challenge has ended positively, but when there is deep disappointment, pain or injury, then the mist becomes thicker.

Just like my windows, the sooner I clean off the mist, the easirer. If not done immediately, then it takes a lot more scrubbing and cleaner to get that Windex Shine :)

Today Lord, let the Holy Spirit be the Windex of my soul, cleaning up the past, present and even putting an no stick cover for the future. You are God, You are Love and You are Good....thank you for the storm and the clean up....love di